Thursday Press #142: I'm breaking all the rules for this one...
[25 JUL 2024]
I’m breaking all the storytelling rules to tell you this…
Once upon a time, I got a once-in-a-lifetime inquiry
An inquiry so exciting that I immediately screenshotted the notification…
Texted my biz group chat about it…
Responded immediately (from my PHONE no less)...
And finally broke out of the 3 pm afternoon slump that had kept me captive, lying diagonally across the bed with my cat for the previous 30 minutes.
This was the kind of inquiry I could’ve only dreamed about and I was prepared to move mountains in my schedule to make it happen.
They booked a discovery call, and in the hours leading up to it, I was more anxious than I had been in quite some time.
I wanted to impress them! They’d been referred to me by someone they had a TON of respect for, and I didn’t want to let either of those people down!!!
So what did I do on that disco call, First name / bestie?
I told them not to hire me.
Yes, you read that right.
I told my once-in-a-lifetime, excited-anxious-sweat-worthy, big-name potential client NOT to hire me.
And yknow what? I didn’t regret it for a second.
That was in 2023, and I’ve said similar things to dozens of inquiries before and after that event.
Since I started tracking my inquiries at the beginning of this year (thanks to Sarah Kleist’s recommendation), I’ve turned down 72% of the inquiries I've received.
There are lots of reasons I might say no to an inquiry, and there are some that are easier to explain than others.
I’m fully booked? Out of budget? Easy peasy.
They don’t have enough content? Or I don’t have as much experience? A little harder to explain, but not impossible.
A gut-deep knowledge that we won’t work well together? Now that’s a tricky one.
And it’s the one that popped up during that oh-so-exciting disco call.
During the call, I could tell that what this business was looking for in a Pinterest marketing provider was very different to both my typical clientele and my typical processes.
They were looking for much more detailed tracking than I typically do, and I got the feeling they needed more of a team member to work with than a contractor to outsource work to.
There’s nothing wrong with either of these models, but I have very firmly established the way I work — open communication with no micromanagement.
This flexibility allows me to do what’s best for each client’s account and work best with my ADHD brain, which is often unpredictable.
Trying to adjust my process just because landing this client would look good to my community was only going to cause me more stress and anxiety, which would lead to me resenting the work and the potential business relationship.
It just wasn’t worth it.
And I don’t think it would’ve been worth it for that potential client, either.
Typically, I would save that for the post-call email, but I felt strongly enough that I mentioned it mid-call.
I said — approximately — “I don’t think it would be the best use of your resources to hire me. I think you’d be much better suited hiring someone to work within your team. I’m happy to assist with training or consulting, but I would recommend looking elsewhere for full Pinterest management.”
SCARY!!!
Actually, it wasn’t that scary.
As soon as I said it, I felt instant relief. The pressure of impressing this potential client melted away and I knew I’d made the right decision.
Not every instance of saying no feels like that, though…
How to Confidently Say No as a People Pleaser
Hi, people pleaser reporting for duty!
Catchphrases include:
No worries if not!
That’s fine!
I can do that for you!
Absolutely!
Catchphrases do NOT include:
No
Not to get too ~deep~ but there was a long time in my life where I believed my only value to the people in my life was how much I could be of service to them.
So, naturally, I became a service provider. 🤪
And as a baby service-based business owner trying to keep myself and my partner afloat through the early days of the pandemic, I said yes to pretty much any money-making opportunity.
Want me to design blog cover templates? Sure, I’ve got Canva and time.
Your website code broke? I’ll figure it out!
Need Pinterest support for a niche step-parenting blog? I’m your girl!
Luckily, a lot of these situations turned out great. In fact, these requests turned out to be some of my very first clients!
Buuuut there were also a lot of situations that I definitely should have said no to.
Like the time I created a custom, lower package for a client who frankly did not have enough content to successfully grow on Pinterest. And hey, 300 pins for $350?? Not enough. Not in 2021, and certainly not now.
We live and we learn.
No matter what anyone else tells you, saying no is a skill.
And if it’s a skill, that means it can be practiced and learned.
You're not going to go from People-Pleasing Barbie to No-Ma'am Barbie overnight, and it's going to probably be a little uncomfortable!
From someone who's made the journey, here are some of my best tips and reminders for when saying “no” feels a little too scary:
1. “No” is a complete sentence.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation or reason.
But, if that feels too brash, steal my classic move to make saying “no” feel a little more comfy —
2. Provide an alternative
I know I don’t have to suggest other Pinterest managers to the inquiries I reject, but it makes me feel better knowing I’ve still helped them on their journey instead of just outright saying “no”.
3. Position it as a benefit to them
If a get an inquiry from an industry I don’t want to work with, I don’t say “No, I don’t like doing Pinterest for e-commerce.”
Instead, I say something like this: “I don’t have the experience working with e-commerce brands on Pinterest that I think your brand deserves. You’d likely see better results working with one of the below providers, who has more expertise in your niche!”
The way I explain this sounds manipulative, but it is genuine in practice.
It will be genuinely more lucrative for this fake client to work with someone who has e-comm Pinterest experience, instead of me trying to learn on the job, stressing out about tags and catalogs and Lord knows what else.
So if you’re stressed about saying no, try and add context about how the “rejection” is in their best interest.
4. Run it by your friends
Everyone can use a little external validation now and then.
And your business besties are going to be the first to encourage you to shut the door in that red-flag-waving inquiry (or at least charge enough to make it worth your while)
If you need someone to do that for you, I'm here!!!
5. Follow a script
If you aren't sure how to say no, this list of 42 ways to say no has options for basically every situation and tone possible.
Read it, bookmark it, print it out and tape it to your wall if you must.
I linked the web archived version because the website seems to be down at the moment, so maybe extra emphasis on that print it out thing…
42 Ways to Say “No” (or buy time until you can)
Saying “no” to inquiries is something that
1) I am very privileged to be in a position to do, and
2) Is a part of my process I stand by firmly
I share this to reinforce my position as an ethical, human-first business owner, first of all, but also to encourage anyone who's ever been in a similar position.
Saying no is scary, but it's also freeing. It's a skill worth practicing.
I dare you to say no to something this week and tell me about it.
Don't want to? Tell me no, then 😏